Hello, 2013!

Today I welcome 2013 with a happy and hopeful heart and a renewed soul. I had broken dreams and failed resolutions last year but it's never too late to turn them into reality. Never too late to travel the world. Never too late to showcase what I'm capable of doing. Never too late to forgive and forget. Most especially, never too late to hope for a better tomorrow.

Today, I am bidding farewell of everything that burdens me. I choose to be happy for friends who clinch not to keep in touch. I choose to stop complaining about work as I'm being paid with good amount anyway. I choose to understand why people have to leave. I choose to accept that life is a roller coaster and I gotta enjoy the ride.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! :)

My 21st..

 Peaceful time with my family was all I wanted for my 21st. But as the saying goes, life doesn't always turn out the way you want it to be. It may not be what I originally wanted, but it was way beyond better. Thanks to my fab fam and friends who exerted effort in making my 21st special.

This year has been a roller coaster ride. I was on top for some time then suddenly I realized I was at my lowest point. Most of the time I was in the middle of diversity. I have hopes and desires that I choose to keep inside me. I hurt a lot of people. I learned how to forgive and move forward. I learned how to be happy with little things.

I know I got a lot of learning to make. I still have dreams that I need to chase. Love that I am looking forward to share with someone, someday. I still have to aspire bigger things for my family. Patience that I need to showcase for people around me. Happiness to share with friends.

Though I still have a lot of learning to do, I am grateful that I have family and friends who choose to love me even when I'm up, down, or in between.

Dreams

People may be a lot different from one another but at the end of a long and tiring day, we all want the same things, admit it or not, that is to love and be loved back. May it be someone special or love from family. Whatever it is. Sometimes, when it seems like this is quite impossible to happen, atleast not yet, God is making it happen on our dreams. Not to make us feel that it won't ever happen. But he gives us a glimpse of how wonderful it is to experience the magic and spark of being loved. He allows us to foresee the possibilities that life will be showering us in the future.

So I'll hold on. I'll wait. I don't know how much time and patience do I still have to showcase but I will be reserving a very special space for that someone, in God's time. :)

For Now..

Exactly 43 minutes after clocking in for work. Sitting here in my office desk and I got 8 hours more. I'm looking side by side and I see the eyes of co-workmates getting heavy and almost ready to collapse to bed any minute. Got nothing else left to do so others just stare in their PCs and others are stealing quick nap.

Part of me wants to quit and find the dream that has been calling me ever since. But a part of me knows that there is a need for me to stay. I'm not sure how long. But I know I need to stay--just a bit longer.

Sometimes, there are several things that you need to sacrifice. And I guess this is one of those sacrifices that I have to take--for now. I hope several months or years after this sacrifice, I'll be wishing from above that my dream will still be calling my name. And I promise, I'll be vigilant enough for me to hear even just a soft whisper of that dream.

Losing faith..

I decided months ago, that I am temporarily "ok" with the kind of job that I have. BPO to be specific. And I have several reasons why I'm holding on to this. I have responsibilities at home and I cannot just leave that behind because when it comes to my family, I've always been everyone's priority. What I want and I what I need really do matters.

And now that I have "somehow" enough capability of helping them in any way possible, I seriously just can't turn my back on them. Not now because I'm just starting to return the favor for every single thing that my family did for me. I keep saying to myself, "it's my turn now."

My heart is torn in half and I'm being swallowed with jealousy, envy and pain. It's a different feeling to see someone reaching what they want to do while your stuck in the middle of nowhere just "playing safe". As I said, I have several reasons why I'm staying in this kind of job, I know that very well. But I cannot afford to explain to people how I feel.

I now believe that your greatest enemy will be yourself. I've always believed in my capabilities. I know what I can do and I've been truly aware about it. And at this moment, my heart is breaking because I feel like I'm losing faith in myself. I feel like I'm not certain anymore of what I am capable of doing. My heart is breaking because I am doubtful of my own strength. I know deep within that I shouldn't be. But I really just can't help it. I try to distract myself with good things but I can see my dreams vanishing. Others may not fully understand what I feel but if there's one thing that I'm praying now, that is to gain the faith that I once had for myself. :(

Pangarap na Pilit Aabutin..

Meron akong daan-daang dahilan kung bakit ko kinuha ang kursong Mass Communication. Una, pangarap kong maging Brodkaster. Pangalawa, alam kong dito ako magaling. Kung sa pagsayaw at pagkanta, wala akong talent, sa larangan ng pamamahayag, alam kong may ibubuga ko. Kaya nga ako nagpakahirap na pagsabayin ang pag-aaral at trabaho. Kasi gusto kong matapos ang kursong pinangarap ko. 

Ngayong graduate na ko, naiinis ako sa lipunang ginagalawan ko. Gusto ko man sila murahin isa-isa, idadaan ko na lang sa pagsulat. Maraming nagsasabi, "Sayang ang pinag-aralan kung sa call center ka lang babagsak." Para bang ang laking kasalanan kapag nag-call center ako. Kung ako ang masusunod, siyempre gusto kong makakuha ng trabaho sa larangang pinag-aralan ko. Ang problema kasi, hindi sumasang-ayon sa akin ang ihip ng panahon. At sigurado akong hindi lang sa akin.

Paulit-ulit kong naririnig, "Wag kang mag-stay sa trabaho na di ka masaya." Ang sagot ko naman diyan, tiis tiis lang. Hindi naman porket sa call center ako ngayon, dito na ko habang buhay. Sa hirap ng buhay ngayon, HINDI MASAMA ANG MAGING PRAKTIKAL. 

Marami akong PANGARAP sa buhay. At hindi ako titigil hangga't di ko naaabot lahat ng iyon. Kanya kanyang diskarte lang yan. Kung milyonarya lang ako, agad-agad akong mag-aapply sa Media. Kahit gaano pa kaliit ang sweldo walang problema sa'kin. Kaso may mga responsibilidad akong dapat gampanan. Ayokong dumating sa punto na manghihingi ako ng baon sa magulang ko dahil nakapos ako sa sweldo.

Ang pananatili ko sa call center ay hindi hangganan ng mga pangarap ko. Malay natin, sa susunod na araw, o sa susunod na buwan, o sa susunod na taon, nasa Media na rin ako. At sinisiguro kong hindi ako titigil hangga't di ko nararating lahat ng gusto kong maabot sa buhay.

Gaya ng palagi kong sinasabi, "Passion can wait but a living for my family can't."

Sa mga taong sumusuporta pa rin sa'kin, MARAMING SALAMAT.

Sa mga taong nawalan na ng tiwala sa kakayahan ko, ipapakain ko sa inyo lahat ng mga sinasabi niyong hanggang dito na lang ako. Panoorin niyo ang magiging pag-asenso ko sa buhay.

Someday, I'll be a Broadcast Journalist..

       I have high respect for broadcasters and journalists who are determined enough to know the TRUTH behind every single story.

        With this article, there was a statement that moved me as a Mass Communication student. “We asked our journalists to go after the most critical voices and to get the worst evidence against ABS-CBN they could find. Treat the story as if we aren’t ABS-CBN because we are journalists first.”

        This is one of the attitudes that all aspiring broadcasters and journalists should obtain, the courage to broadcast what is RIGHT, giving news to people fairly without any form of being bias. The strength to face TRUTH without even covering big names of people involved in a certain situation.

        I strongly believe that once you got the chance to be part of media industry, your main responsibility is to SERVE the people. Serve the NATION. Provide them the things that they deserve and need to know. It’s not your responsibility to please your Bosses. People rely on whatever information media will be providing. People deserve to know the TRUTH behind every single story.

        I remembered the time when I was told by my professor, “Media can make or break a nation.” This statement proves how powerful media is. But we should use this power to educate people and give them the sense of awareness within the things that are happening in our country.

        It is a lot easier for me to say this simply because I’m not in the position. But this is one of the things that I wish to have someday, the courage and strength to broadcast what is RIGHT. I want to be someone from the media industry who writes or reports without covering any faces. I want to reveal all dirty faces behind every mask of whoever is hiding from it.

        This is one of the things that I will bear in mind if ever I’ll be given a chance to be part of media, “We are journalists first.” A very short statement but contains a message that everyone in media should be aware of.

        I guess there are certain things that we need to do in order to be successful in this field. We need to set aside personal interests or intentions and serve the people and nation TRUTHFULLY. No matter if it includes taking risks because that is our responsibility, provide news even if sometimes it includes danger to our own lives.

         In my perception as a Mass Communication student, the deeper meaning of Broadcast means to deliver information with heart and all fairness, to provide REAL score behind every story without taking any sides and to be determined enough not to cover anyone’s mask.

        When I graduate in this chosen field of mine, I’ll do my very best to possess the above traits that I have mentioned and I will use it to serve my fellowmen. Because I know by heart, that these attitudes define the meaning of a real “Journalist”.