To be HAPPY again...

My heart feels really heavy this past few days. There are things on my mind that swallows me inside and the only thing that I wanna do right now is to have my Starbucks Signature Hot Chocolate and be alone even just for a day.

I want a single day wherein I could just breathe without worrying about anything. But because of my busy schedule, I can't find time to do what I want. Simply because I need to work and study at the same time. Others think it's easy but they don't know what I have to go through every single day. My everyday schedule leaves me too weak to function like a normal human being.

You know what I feel right now? It's like I have to be strong for everyone else and they don't even bother to ask if I'm okay. It's like I don't have the right to be tired and be weak. Oh well, maybe they forgot that I'm still HUMAN and I am getting fed up of everything that is happening around me.

Nobody knows how tired I am. I'm PHYSICALLY and EMOTIONALLY tired and I'm using the only energy that I have to smile, pretend I'm ok, and continue stuff that I am obliged to do. Life is being so harsh to me right now. And nobody understands how I feel, seriously.

I wanna be in a place wherein it's ok to CRY. A place wherein it is ok not to be ok.

Well I guess I'm not asking for too much, but I just really wanna be HAPPY again.

Mkaye's Brand New Heart...

Last night, before I sleep, I had my daily conversation with God. I'm certain that He knows what I have been wishing for all these years. Because I believe, he listens. I always ask him if my prince charming is on his way already. :)


Being single for two years gave me a different kind of happiness that I guess, I won't completely have if I'm with someone. It brought me to a deeper kind of relationship with my family and friends. And it made me a stronger person. It erased all the pain and bitterness that I had in my heart my before. Now I know, forgiveness comes in time and not always right away.


Now, I feel like my heart is brand new and ready to love again. It's ready to love without being afraid of getting hurt. Because this heart of mine knows, that if in case it gets broken again, I know how to handle it better this time and I know that God will always find  a way to make my broken heart heal.


I'm not being in a a hurry, whoever he may be, wherever he is right now, I am very certain that our paths will cross one of these days. I won't get tired of waiting. I won't stop from praying. I know God will grant my wish when it's destined for me to have it. :)

Lalalalaloveeee Youuuuuu! :)

Life at work was never easy. But she made it a lot easierrrrrr for me. She understands why I'm mean and why I love to hate people. HAHAHA. She gets it when I don't feel like being friendly and even when I don't feel like smiling. I don't have to explain, she just GETS it. I love how she laughs when I complain, complain, complain about school,  the swimming team, and school paper. I love her even if it pisses me off when she imitates how I speak! :DDD

We have the same perceptions about life and love. Others may not understand the way we think and how we view things, but that's how we roll. She believes in me and she has always been proud of everything that I do.

I will miss you Ate! PUH-ROOOOMISE. Good thing we have the same station so I'll just leave you a note anytime I want to. :) I LOVE YOUUUUU Childish! :))))))))))))))