Three Years

It's been three years. Three years since I started to to take one of the biggest steps when it comes to being a grown up.  When it comes to taking real responsibility. I'm sitting here today, full of fear and on the edge of losing faith, asking myself, "Is this all I can do?"

Three long years yet I'm still here and I am not even sure if I wanted to be here.

For a good friend

I had a conversation with a friend whom I have caused so much pain way back in college.

And today, I realize that people move on and heal in their own time. No matter how short or long it may take. That you can't force them to be okay immediately. You can't tell them the steps to move on. You can't tell what needs to be done. Because we heal in our own ways. Our own hearts are the ones who will decide if we are bound to be okay again.

My heart wishes him well. And that's the basic thing you could hope for a friend. :)

Fast-paced

"Am I not good enough?" Question that has been hunting me for quite some time now.

Ever felt like losing faith on everything that you once strongly believed in? Like you're trying to gain back the faith you once had in life and in yourself but you just don't know how and where to find it.

You're trying to love life a bit more but it keeps on showering you with so many disappointments that you can't stand tall and give a good fight anymore.

You want to be someone in this big crazy world but you can't seem to take a leap of faith because you're scared and coward and you just don't know what's supposed to happen next.

Everyone's moving on a fast-paced. And it scares me. It scares me deep within because I'm being left behind and I'm being surrounded by millions of people who all have definite plans toward their dreams. And if you would ask, yes, I truly am scared.

How I was Raised

At 21, I've seen so many broken relationships. I've seen people shed so many tears. I've seen people who have been destroyed by love. And sometimes I get scared. Witnessing these hardened me to not fall in love. Hardened me to be wiser in love. But in the end, I realize I will always go back to how I was raised, and that is to know that love is always awe-inspiring. Whether it's full or broken or shattered, it's still love and it will always have a memory of being wonderful.

Breathe in, Breathe out

Surpassing all troubles in life made me believe that I was strong. Strong enough to move forward, forget yesterday and just look forward to tomorrow. But sometimes, when life gets really difficult to deal with, and it leaves you with no choice, all you can really do is sit down, calm yourself and your heart, hold back tears, listen to good music, close eyes, breathe in and breathe out, and hope that you could be stronger, just a little more.

13 years ago

13 years ago, my parents chose to let go of the love that once bonded the both of them. At a very young age, I understood infidelity.  But I had to believe that the love they once shared was true. It was just lost somewhere. I was a kid and yet, I had a different version of the word "pain". 13 years ago, I lost my reason to get out of bed everyday.

It has been 13 years and today, the person who ruined my "home", the person who broke the solid foundation of my mom and dad's love, the person who stole my chance of having a complete family, the person who caused me so much pain -- decided to talk to me. And yet, not even a single "I'm sorry." 

But today, I am letting go because I know that even though some families aren't together under a single roof, the pureness of love from our parents can always fight storms and will forever reign. 

Hello, 2013!

Today I welcome 2013 with a happy and hopeful heart and a renewed soul. I had broken dreams and failed resolutions last year but it's never too late to turn them into reality. Never too late to travel the world. Never too late to showcase what I'm capable of doing. Never too late to forgive and forget. Most especially, never too late to hope for a better tomorrow.

Today, I am bidding farewell of everything that burdens me. I choose to be happy for friends who clinch not to keep in touch. I choose to stop complaining about work as I'm being paid with good amount anyway. I choose to understand why people have to leave. I choose to accept that life is a roller coaster and I gotta enjoy the ride.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! :)